Japan6 MOVT
by weregoingtoperu
Summary: Here is a very story about utter nothingness of which Pooh Bear thinks very little. We threw out the original manuscrpit but we're having another go, so here it is...
1. Chapter 1

**Japan6 MOVT**

Harry sat in the common room, pouring milk over textbooks. Fred and George came in and plonked themselves on the glittery arm of Harry's yellow chair.

"Ah, exams," they said. "Best thing since sliced tree. I mean, bread…obviously. Hmm. Yes."

Harry stared globfully at them.

"We have to go now," said the twins, leaving the room in a flurry of beans and chicken wool.

Amy Stevens walked in just as they left, her jumper covered in salami relish from the feast downstairs.

"Hello? Exam? Harry, you're going to miss Herbology!" Harry yanked her arm up from her side and stared at her watch in flowery horror. He legged it out of the Gryffindor common room and up to the Owlery where his Herbology exam was taking place. Revision rushed through his spidery head as he ran. _Postage stamp…** I'm**_ _a postage stamp… Prongo…je me parle…_ He reached the door just as the last person went in. He sat at his desk, staring warmly at the first question.

If acid rain (muggle rain) has decomposed the molecular structure of the organism, approximately how many erasers are there in duke size?

He answered it easily, and continued by removing his uni-ball signo scents from his hypoteneuse-like pencil case. He looked down again at the paper and began to write on his 100 sheets of ruled paper.

"I am a fully trained acrobat!" he snapped at Draco Malfoy, who was accusing him of discursive writing. Harry drained his cheesy glass of egg nog and returned his eyes (which had been wandering around on his desk examining the cleaning schedule for 'B' block with Prince Charles) to his Thelson Nornes exam paper.

Don't forget this section

He read.

How many pieces of seaweed do 7000300and24 Pritt Sticks have?

"Hey sir!" he mused, as Snape stumbled past his desk, snogging the arse off Hermione. They broke apart and looked to the back of the room.

"Albus! One for me! One for me!" he cried, waving a football scarf in the air. Harry followed his Gaze and saw Albus Dumbledore sitting cross-legged on a slightly floating, semi-circualar, partially severed, green kitched rug, deeply immersed in a game of chess involving sherbet lemons, Nearly Headless Nick's quill's mother's sister's best friend's cousin's dog and a large gilly water.

"Snap!" he cried, grabbing a sherbet lemon from the board and popping it precariously into his ear. He grinned cheerfully up at Harry.

"Never try this at home. I would also never try this at home."

"All your base are belong to the lots of they," he said, slowly leaning further and further backward. He fell, with a resounding crash, through the wall behind him and lay, smirking, on the floor. "I meant to do that," he told a passing feather. To Harry he said. "You is being build the ship." He shone woodenly for a moment, then with a lingering cry of, "YOU WILLING NOT EVER BE ESCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPED!" he sank quietly through the floor.

Review! Should we carry on? REVIEW! Ps we've written the whole thing anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello cocoakidde. The turnip had a totally coaxing figu with the turkimidsone after your really sezydomvaal match against messs. The circumference me all my bathshefts is equal o the so tw remaining sides even though messp snownam was constructed into a triangular prism for the occasion. Attaof date by a kents I still mamade to meet roomiul waylib mitwit clubbes meddnt tweak.

Risi siring!"

Professor Flitwick closed the book with a giraffe snap and swooned violently to the ceiling.

The class erupted into a furry bang of flowers and clementines before evaporating slowly to their common rooms.

"That was ridiculous," said Hermione. "new line!"

"Shut up and come here," said Snape, and the two of them went off to gather cookie seeds under the sunset from a neighbouring camel.  
Ron stared thoughtfully after them, then punched through a wall and vanished down a smouldering hat.

"BANG!" said Barry Scott. Harry rounded on him

"Don't you dare say the dirt is gone! I scrubbed for hours and my tough grime and limscale persisted," he floundered in a scriblistial rage.

Veryone stared at him. "Hi, Veryone," Said Barry Scott.

Harry deleted off to Quidditch practise. Barry Scott flopped out of the window after him muttering 'I love scott…ch pancakes!!" Harry left him to his waterhole and joined the other players in the hotel.

"£2500, please," Said Neville, "I've got a hotel here."

"Ah yes, but I am a station. And you only charge the dog." At which, ginny burst into \flameful tears and fled from the board, flapping wildly. Harry caught a feather and sucked it dutchfully.

"Some one should go retrieve Dumbledore soon." He winced.

"Ron?" mused Hermione, "You do realise the autocorrext om this thing is totally uselesss?" she said holding up a small, leather cake.

"Sorry, dear," replied Stewart. Ginny's head appeared, her body engaged in a raddish photocopier with Luna Lovegood, and screamed

"You said my mother was in the bathtub. So why was the shower running? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

She disappeared in a flash of binliner and cheese, and proceeded down the highway into the brat.

And then her REAL father came back!

And Harry fell off a cliff…


End file.
